“Tell us about your child.”
When prompted this way in a parent interview or on the blank canvas of an admission application, it is hard to believe that five simple words could be so overwhelming. Depending on the day of the week, my mood, or the last interaction I had with my child, an open-ended prompt like this could go down many paths—some insightful and favorable and others rambling and not so flattering.
To begin, it might be helpful to know why schools ask this question. Although the motivation behind this question can be varied, there are a few plausible reasons. First, schools understand that as parents/guardians, you know your child best and have seen them at their best and through challenges.
Second, what you choose to write about/talk about says something about you as a parent and how you might show up as an adult in the school community. Most importantly, however, schools want to know what your child/family will bring to their classrooms and their community that no one else will. The parent statement and interview are ways to help a school see and remember what is special about your child.
The following are four main areas to focus on when writing an essay like this.
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<span class="text-color-orange" role="decoration">Lead with three areas of strength.</span>
Knowing what schools are looking for and creating some structure around that is a good place to begin. Since schools focus on various aspects of development when evaluating applications, it is helpful for you to lead with your child's strengths by providing some insight into three main categories. Most teacher recommendations will ask your child's current school to evaluate them in similar buckets, and many admission committees look for markers in these three areas.
- Academic Strength | How is your child intelligent? In which ways do they stump/amaze you? Is there a specific subject or topic they are passionate about?
- Emotional Strength | Who is your child at the core of their personality and or temperament? What is the most endearing quality about your child? How are they emotionally intelligent?
- Social/Citizenship Strength | How does your child contribute to the world—in school? At home? With friends? Outside of school and home? How are they helpful?
To begin writing with an open-ended prompt like this, I encourage parents to start with a brainstorming document before scribing a draft. Begin by listing the three categories above (Academic, Emotional, Social/Citizenship) on a blank document or piece of paper. Next, brainstorm words, phrases, stories, and characteristics under each strength category. Last, circle the words or ideas that are most defining. What pops out that truly captures your child's essence? For this portion, I advise only focusing on the positive.
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<span class="text-color-lightblue" role="decoration">Drafting a positive response with color.</span>
Once you have narrowed down to one or two enduring, unique characteristics in each category, you have an outline. However, remember that admission personnel are very accustomed to seeing a list of attributes from parents.
As is true of most compelling writing, using short anecdotes to illustrate each of the three characteristics is exponentially more effective than word lists. They will remember stories and link them to your child and to you. They will forget word lists. Since many schools have word limits, these stories need to be indelible but brief.
Here are a couple of examples:
- To share about an academic interest in math: “As soon as she could read numbers, our daughter insisted on calculating the tip every time we went to a restaurant.”
- To illustrate a social-emotional strength of resilience: “When our daughter did not win the election for student council, her first words at our family dinner were, ‘I think I could have been more thoughtful about my slogan—I can’t wait to try again next year.’”
- To highlight a citizenship strength of being a good team player: “When our son noticed that I had started making dinner in my work clothes the other day, he offered to chop vegetables so I could go change.”
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<span class="text-color-green" role="decoration">Don’t forget to paint a full, honest picture of your child.</span>
After you finish drafting and writing gripping, concise anecdotes that highlight your child's strengths, it is also important to focus on one question that almost every school will ask in some form or another: “What are your child's challenges?”
Most schools will ask you to respond to a question or prompt along these lines like, “What is your child working on?” or “What is hard for your child?” Schools want to understand where your child's growth edge is and contribute to a student's healthy development. They are also looking to work with parents who have realistic pictures of their children and understand they are not perfect.
Without oversharing, be honest about what you worry about and what you hope the specific school will provide for your child in terms of support. It is important to be honest with schools to ensure that whatever limitations your child has, they can meet their needs.
For example, if your child has an IEP or special learning plan at their current school, the schools are likely to pick up on this in other areas of the application. If you are not forthcoming with this information, you are taking two risks.
First, schools may feel you are hiding something if they note a need from the observations of your child or a teacher recommendation. This does not paint a good picture about you as a parental partner at the school. It also could cause unnecessary concerns that the challenge is larger than it actually is.
Second, and even more importantly, you risk the school not having the resources to address your child's needs. A good rule of thumb here is to be brief and be honest. If you know your child will need certain accommodations, note those in your essays. Next, move on to how your child has worked on these growth areas and how you support them in that work.
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<span class="text-color-orange" role="decoration">A note about word count.</span>
Most schools will provide guidelines about suggested word counts. You could be asked to keep your word count to as few as 200 words or be given 500+ words. Use your technology to check your word count, and do not exceed the suggested limit by more than 5-10%. Admission officers have a lot of applications to read, and sticking to the word count is an early way to show you are paying attention to the school guidelines and are respectful of school personnel's time.
To recap:
- Be sure to highlight what your child brings to the table that is unique in the three core strength categories.
- Use stories to help complete the picture and create an indelible reader experience.
- Make it clear you know your child isn't perfect and that you are confident that the school has the ability to add value in facilitating growth.
- Read word count suggestions carefully and adhere to guidelines.
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